• Demetrius Sudduth

Engagement Planning Without Ego & Pride

Updated: Dec 31, 2019

The beginning stages of planning a wedding come with a canvas of checklists while prioritizing the small details and logistics to create the magical fairy-tail.

After The Proposal

The starting point of any relationship have many different phases as if the beginning is never ending. From the first date with butterflies of getting to know each other, a couple begin to form a magical bond that is a feeling of spiritual connection. The holidays, birthdays, and vacation allow family and friends to become part of their newly forming union. A perfect timing proposal and she says "Yes!" Everyone is excited and crying happy tears. Now the planning journey begin which is an experience hypothetically demonstrating how the Married To Be couple will successfully plan their future life stepping stones. Tough decisions as ONE is tested.

Budgeting & Financing

Weddings and money is not a subject matter that can be ignored. In fact, it should be the biggest factor in all partnering decisions to ensure security and stability. Financial wisdom and planning can be the key to happiness. Most marriages end in misery due to naive and lazy financial planning. Weddings can be as simple as taking care of the legal marriage license or to the extent of renting out luxurious mansions for exquisite ceremonies that can be remembered forever!

It probably is best to plan a wedding like a business plan. An example template of a wedding budgeting spreadsheet can be found here:

Wedding Planning: Build the Perfect Wedding Budget First

Laying out every item and expense can be tedious but will be rewarding if planned out ahead of time allowing room for creative ideas and shopping around. Stress can be eliminated when time is on your side. When engaged couples embark in wedding planning impulsively, this typically invite unnecessary drama, mistakes, arguments, anxiety, and/or a messy fallout. Below are a few basic proactive tips to enjoy a smooth stress-free wedding planning process.

1) Reading & Researching

Spend time reading as many articles and magazines as possible; read about 100 of them. You can Google Search any wedding topic, then click the News Tab to find the most credible wedding articles. Google has an amazing algorithm to show the most current and resourceful articles for your specific search. Monthly wedding magazine issues are outdated and time consuming, but their respective websites are an expressway source. The more you read and research, the better you will be able to form ideas that you want specifically for your wedding that you may never have thought about on your own merit.

2) Note Taking

Immediately write down every thought, idea, advice as you come across information in the moment. Wedding planning is pretty intense and you will forget things as the clock countdown. Simply create a wedding note taking journal in a spiral notebook the old school way. Phones can get lost or damaged and technology isn't always at your fingertips. The saying is, when you write things down with pen and paper, it is more likely to get accomplished.

3) Microsoft Excel

This should be your number one asset to wedding planning. Copy and past all the links to everything in categories to easily access them for future use. Create lists of venues, production needs, checklists, website links, due dates, budgeting expenses, contact lists, invitation information etc. Using web browser bookmark folders can also help stay organized.

4) Counseling

Never hesitate to appoint a counselor that you can meet with on a routine schedule to discuss the planning process along with emotional and mental health awareness. Most church pastors and wedding officiants provide (in some cases require) this process. Planning a wedding is hard work with plentiful due dates and consistently running around. Mental health counseling can sometimes be forgotten allowing the portal of egos, pride, doubt, and fatigue to negatively affect the planning process.

5) Wedding Planner

Especially if the wedding is large, hiring a wedding planner and even a second assistant can relieve so much energy. Delegate someone to run errands, make phone calls, do research etc. Professional wedding planners have much more experience and can solve issues instantly opposed to wasting time and energy figuring out solutions on your own.

6) Consulting Vendors Informally

A lot of vendors such as food caterers, photographers, videographers, officiants, decoration specialist and florist are more than willing to help you informally navigate uncertainty of ideas or even where to start. Be upfront and let them know you are generally planning and trying to get advice. This will help you form a relationship and develop a comfortable bond with your vendors. Be aware of those that try to pressure you into a specific direction with the sole purpose of taking your money without compassion for your planning process. Vendors that typically write online blogs, Youtube tutorials, and share free information are the people that will provide caring and genuine businesses experiences.

7) YouTube Tutorials

You can learn a lot by searching YouTube tutorials of professionals teaching other professionals. For example, watching tutorials of wedding videographers teaching other videographers can help you learn what a valuable videographer knowledge base consist of. Here are a few YouTube Tutorial examples:

T&C Live - Wedding Photography

WEDDING CAKE DOS & DON'TS | Planning A Wedding In Ghana- Tips

DIY Rose Gold Wedding Invitations

8) Best Man & Bridesmaid Duties

Delegating responsibilities and brainstorming ideas can be a huge help by having your prospective wedding party involved. They know your personality and can help if they think an idea is too far fetched or unrealistic. Always have others you trust to be used as a think tank. Sometimes outside suggestions can provide clarity. Remember, love sometimes can be blind especially if making impulsive decisions during moments of euphoria and excitement.

We wish the best for currently engaged couples. Please share your thoughts, experience, and suggesting in the comments!

Hashtags: #weddings #proposals #engagements #weddingplanning

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